Pure Indulgence

Indulgence is a very disloyal feeling. It’s a feeling that deserts you when you most need it. When just a little bit of it can make someone happy. When a little extra from it, can get you a special someone. When its vacancy is perhaps the only reason for a relationship to shatter into pieces.

I wonder if it ever listens to anybody. I don’t even think it has a rule book to follow. Its ethics are a big question mark. And yet, when it comes, it leaves you blue. Unapologetically! 

And then there is communication. Like a needle it sews everything indulgence has ripped apart. Everything that is affected by the lack of indulgence can be attempted to be fixed with communication. But all it can manage is patchwork! It cannot make the cloth anew. Only indulgence can weave that magic. 

The presence of indulgence doesn’t really need conscious communication. But it almost always has it. We communicate the most when we indulge. Even though the thoughts are enough.

 The presence of communication, can however, merely initiate indulgence. That too sometimes. It can’t make it go on. Feelings have to do that task. And those aren’t in your hand, obviously.

And that becomes the biggest problem. We become so dependent on indulgence, that we forget communication is in our hands. It’s like not being able to speak without a drink. It makes you addicted to it, that prick called indulgence. 

And yet, I am blamed for the wreck it creates. I wonder what my fault is. Perhaps that I believe in it!