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All posts for the month September, 2012

Finally Under Control !

Published September 30, 2012 by Virgo293

Life is filled with ups and downs. Something happens and then something else, and things go on. But then there are so many times that you desperately want time to freeze. Some moments in your life are so beautiful that you want to live in those moments forever. You do not want to let the magic spell be over, you refuse to come out of the fantasy world, and you do not want anything to end the magical experience, anything at all.

Amidst all these glamorized ideas of those perfect instants that you want to live in forever, you are forced to wake up. You have to accept that reality is more than a dream after all. You have to, because life has its own ways of making sure that you do, by hook or by crook.

And then as if waking up wasn’t enough to trouble you, another realization strikes. You realize that your entire life is going to be filled up with uncertainties. Everything that is happening to you right now might end straight away and your most treasured experience might just be lost somewhere in your everyday life. Without any prior notice, without any time for packing up, without any preparation, you are expected not only to accept what is happening with you, but also to make peace with it.

Am I the only one who feels that I am too feeble to handle all this? And if not so, does each one of us go through this? In either case, the confrontation is not very comforting. This helplessness is supposedly a part of the human existence. It is probably a way in which nature proves its superiority over us. But then if we accept this, what does our role boil down to? Are we nothing more but puppets in the hands of nature?

These confusions had been haunting me terribly for the past few days. The optimist that I call myself was fading down. I had no answers until this morning. They are true when they say that a new dawn brings in the energy to look at things a new. The bright sunshine definitely does give you a bright new outlook on everything that surrounds you. In fact, what I realized was so satisfying that I had no grudges anymore.

The new insight was that instead of focusing on what is not in my control, I need to focus on what I can do. Nature surely can decide what happens to me. But it is me and me alone who decides the way I react to whats happening. And when I decide to stay satisfied with what is happening around me, no situation, however uncertain it might seem, can affect my calm.

What I am saying above might seem quite controversial to many reading this. After all, wasn’t the point that I do not want to remain helpless anymore?

Well, I’m not claiming to become that detached monk who does not get affected by things going around. What I am saying is that if I decide not to give away my satisfaction, I, in a way prove to life that I deserve good things to happen to me. I attract all positivity around. And if I continue to earnestly work hard on being happy and do justice to it, I just  might be blessed with my core requirement (A permanent smile and an ever-lasting excellent mood).

ImageI do not claim to get all that I want through this, but the reward is tempting enough for me to keep working on the process. After all, the hope that things will eventually work out in my favor is too strong for me to believe anything otherwise. All I  will then need is an eye to notice the souvenir, when I am secretly gifted with whats best for me.

This is the only way, I have figured out, of letting that feeling of magic be around even after I wake up. Perhaps the only way to believe that each of my actions are a part of an important process, and perhaps the only motivation to be happy even when everything around forces me hard on not flaunting that smile.

P.S. No one can take away the beauty that I have already lived in…. My memories will remain my treasures… Forever!  And probably the greed for more such moments will continue to encourage me to be happy all my life, thereby making the journey all worthwhile. My existence, worthwhile.

That’s about me. You can go ahead and find out million other ways to identify your being in this big-big world. A million other ways, to gain control. In all cases, I hope you keep smiling ! 🙂

Writing: An Expression Of My Existence

Published September 11, 2012 by Virgo293

I am termed as the most ‘philosophical’ in my peer group. They always keep on teasing me about living in my “own world.” This has been going on ever since I have gained consciousness and had these freaks in my life called ‘friends.’ I never took them to heart, more so because they weren’t complaining, just teasing me after they had already accepted the way I was.

The world however does not end with friends. There are thousands of people whom you have to deal with, in and out. And these multiple encounters, tell you much more about yourself than about the world. Hence many more times I was made aware of how impractical I was and still am as a person. All of this did not prove me wrong or bad in any way, it just proved me different. It was very difficult for me to accept this because every time I believed that I do not think in the way most people do, I was forced to believe that there would be complications and problems that I would have to go through to survive.

When this realization struck me, I was left with two options. The first one was to change, to start thinking like most people do and make life easy for myself. This option was even easier considering the fact that I can make peace with situations and people pretty well. The second option, the more challenging one, was to be the way I was, and bear with the consequences, however hard and brutal they were. And the worst part was that I had to make the choice alone. It was my call.

That is when I was introduced to my liking for writing. I started penning down all my insecurities, my fears, my strengths, my weakness, anything and everything that had to do with the way I thought and the way I was. The entire process made me feel much lighter and reduced my pressure to a much lesser an extent. This was pretty expected, this was in fact the intention of the practice.

WritingBut something unexpected also happened, something that permanently beautified my life and still continues to add beauty to it. Everything that I wrote and that I write even today is a glimpse into my world. And each glimpse reassures my faith in my convictions. It instils in me all the hope that keeps me going. And with that hope, comes the courage to stick by my way of thinking. The courage to be myself. The courage to believe that all the complexities are worth it, if I get to stay in my world.

Thus, if I call writing just a hobby, I’ll be insulting its value. It is much much more than that. It is a part of my life as much as I am.  It is my passion, because it is only through this medium that I actually can realize how passionate I am about my own existence. No wonder, I love it.

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