As time raced ahead, with the third semester in my B.M.M course, I almost started to believe that this project in my college, which was basically making a short film, will be a parameter to prove myself. I am not supposed to technically make the film, but write it, but I boldly use this opportunity to say, I’m creating a film, even if it is just in my head. In fact, my heart and soul went into creating, what I believed would be a master piece. Fortunately or unfortunately, that did not happen. The script is not yet done. It’s not even close to done.
But I think , one lesson in the course has been learned.
My first idea was rejected on the spot, with reasons so valid that even I render the plot immature now. The second idea or a story if you want to call it, seemed mechanical to me, something that I had created just to justify the rules, and something that did not have a soul of its own. The third Idea is something I have been working on, since the past three weeks, and more importantly, without any fruitful results, as of now.
Had I been the person I was a few weeks ago, I would have cried to bits, comforted myself with forced sleep, and quit the project. What then is keeping me on toes?
Well there’s a secret that I discovered.
I explored that the entire design of the course, never was to lead us into believing that we are film makers. We are not and never were expected to prove that we were excellent screen writers. The entire program has been weaved around the journey rather than the destination. The process has been made like this, for us to realize, that we are capable of failing. And thus gift ourselves with the liberty to fail.
I have understood the fact, that this project was not meant to be my life, but rather the first step towards a destination that I have chosen for myself. Hence I cannot keep bothering myself by crying about something that I couldn’t achieve at the first go. If I need to get a good script, I need to accept that the previous one wasn’t good enough. And more importantly, I need to realize, that this is perfectly normal since I am no genius.
Luckily, with umpteen explanations that have gone into this, with all my near and dear ones involved, I am no longer afraid of failing.
The first lesson, the lesson of wisdom, has been learnt. The undiscovered area of my brain, which can recognize errors, has now become functional. But the most amazing part of it all is, I beg to state in extreme arrogance, that the embarrassment of making mistakes has now become a proof of my efforts. And trust me there is no feeling in the world comparable with the satisfaction of this level.
It is the passion, that this satisfaction instills in me, which is keeping me on my toes
Isn’t learning, then, the most captivating process a person can ever go through?
Well let me talk of myself, it truly is, one of the most beautiful things that I have ever gone through. And hence it deserves to be written about. 🙂